Canberra, the drove down was cold, misty and windy. The conversation had been free flowing then Canberra came into view and we were reminded as we sped pass another roo carcass on the side of the road why Canberra will never appear in the “top ten cities to visit before you die list“. For anyone. Ever. Until the end of time itself.
Canberra is bland. It’s building appear to have all been drawn by the same architect who wore the same dull grey cardigan to work everyday of his life who’s idea of exciting and ground breaking was having more than four windows per room, the materials used for the buildings are from the same dull grey quarry and concrete factory where grey was the new black year after year.
As a visitor to Canberra if you were remove Parliament House from the mix of places or buildings to see suddenly your list is very short. Even the National Buildings like the Art Gallery and National Library have great gardens but the buildings are dull. What went wrong? Why is the place so dull.
One short answer is families, unlike the other capitals Canberra hasn’t had a single family dominate it through wealth or talent. There has been no individual want to build something big bold and ballsy to remind the public how wonderful an individual or family are. Sydney and Melbourne have many buildings today still that dominate the skyline years after the family star has fallen. Instead Canberra is little more than a staging area for a transit population and their architecture or lack there of is appalling.
As we drove to the airport it was surreal, there sat the airport surrounded by paddocks filled with horses, cows and literally hundreds of roo’s both dead and alive. Then, like they had just dropped out of the air was a Brand Depot building with a mega huge and empty car park, next to that more buildings in different stages of completion surrounded by piles of mud. Then more paddocks with the same mix of brown horse grey sheep and brown roo’s. If someone were to suggest the work of aliens and we as simple folk who don’t understand their plans I would buy that idea any day. Were there any house to see any population close by that need this? If I remove the hut and old shed, then the answer is no. The location in relation to population makes no sense.
Nestled next to the airport was something we thought we would never see a Business Park with colour on the buildings, statues, gardens. It was incredible, yet as we walked around like so many places in Canberra it lacked a soul a feeling of community. it was odd, all the elements of something different, exciting were there yet the place lacked soul. The Brindabella Business Park could be a bold new step but time will tell. As we passed a group of dull eyed government workers leaving their buildings it should be noted nearly all wore black, grey or white. the palette of colour available to government workers must be very poor.
The only other thing we know for sure are why some people are willing to move to Canberra, too many known to Jinx move to get away for it all and not in a good and healthily way. Too many friends have moved to Canberra to escape bad relationships, debt or the chance to make big dollars and too frequently the movers have failed to factor in costs and how much of their soul they would have to sell to the Devil to get ahead.
Then once their down in Canberra the calls start. The theme is always the same, come down to Canberra stay for the weekend, see my house, check out my new freaky girlfriend, I’m a pig hunter on the weekends come and join me. The answer is always the same from Jinx “Mate you live in CANBERRA! CANBERRA” then the list of reasons why Jinx just doesn’t want to go down there. Soon the words dull, boring and lame are the only words used by Jinx throughout the whole conversation.
The saddest group are the ones who move to Canberra to make the mega dollars. Soon seeing the Sun, the Moon or humans not working for the same company as them is rare. Emails are rarely answered, calls go unanswered. It’s like they have joined a cult. Then sixteen months later like a ghost they arrive on your doorstep, white, 10 kilo’s lighter with no idea how much time has passed. For them time stopped. Thankfully they never go back to Canberra and learn their lesson. Canberra is like a vampire.
There was one bright moment while in Canberra and that was a suburb’s name. Jinx has a list of her all time favorite suburban names they are: Wood Rising, Rooty Hill and Moo Ball. While traveling along one of Canberra’s boring and dull main roads her eyes lit upon a suburb name that has shot to the top of the list. Swingers Hill. There are so many jokes you can have.
Yet the advise remains the same to all people who are thinking of going to Canberra.
Just get the hell outta of there.
